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Are You Seeking to “Improve” Your Loved Ones?

Published on August 10, 2020

As so many of us hunker down in our houses and apartments, we come to appreciate the importance of our environment all the more. Covid has led to an upsurge in all things nesting related. People are cleaning, purging, and redecorating. A friend of mine who specializes in photo organizing (shoutout to Bonnie Shay!) tells me professional organizers have never been busier.

When I watched the beautiful documentary Searching for Sugar Man, I was struck by one line in particular—so much so that I turned to my husband and said, “I need to remember this.” The line is: “Home is acceptance.”

While our surroundings and material goods may provide us cozy comfort, the truth of this line struck deep—because we all yearn to be seen and heard, known and accepted, in all our gifts and despite our flaws. And when we are, we feel loved and safe.

But it’s easier said then done. While we hunger for validation and acceptance, we struggle to give these freely. How do we let go of the urge to “improve” those we love?

YOUR TURN: This week, become more aware: Are you communicating acceptance in your language and actions toward those you love?

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Hélène Stelian, the Midlife Empowerment Coach

I’m Hélène, the Midlife Empowerment Coach. I help women who are struggling in midlife—who wonder if their best years are behind them and what’s next for them. I show them how to put themselves first, reclaim their identity, figure out what’s next, and feel excited about their future.


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