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I Screwed Up

Published on June 29, 2020

I screwed up. I hurt the feelings of someone I love. She called me out on it and told me how wounding this was. I felt guilty and ashamed.

My family would tell you that I’m not good at apologizing. I don’t disagree. I’m not sure why this is so hard for me. I think it has to do with a belief that if I acknowledge my mistake, I acknowledge my imperfection. I mean, I KNOW (in my head, intellectually) how imperfect I am, but it’s a different thing for me to FEEL it deep down. It feels bad. And I don’t want to feel bad.

Over the years, I’ve become more aware of this blind spot and am making a concerted effort to address it. It starts with an apology. Not an “I’m sorry BUT…” A real apology that includes remorse, takes responsibility, and promises to do better. Full stop. (Yes, she accepted my apology.)

YOUR TURN: How quick are you to acknowledge the hurts you cause others? How easy is it for you to give a fulsome apology?

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Hélène Stelian, the Midlife Empowerment Coach

I’m Hélène, the Midlife Empowerment Coach. I help women who are struggling in midlife—who wonder if their best years are behind them and what’s next for them. I show them how to put themselves first, reclaim their identity, figure out what’s next, and feel excited about their future.


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